Demetrios’ Birth Story

On Monday November 14, 2016 I had a doctors appointment and was dilated to a 1 and 80% effaced. My doctor told me he could strip my membranes to see if that would get the ball rolling. I agreed, because at this point I felt desperate to get demetrios out! That night I was having a little cramping so Andy and I decided to go for a walk, hoping it would turn into full blown contractions. I had consistent cramping for a few hours that night but nothing that got more painful.

The next day I went up to my sisters house to go for a walk with her. We went 1 mile and then decided to keep going. We ended up going 4 miles!! Haha! By the time I got back I was having some more intense cramping. I was helping her make dinner and decided I better head home and just relax.

I got home and decided to get in the bath to see if it would help the pain I was having. Andy called me while I was in the bath and said he felt like he needed to come home and was on his way! I told him it was probably a good idea because I was having contractions that were about 5-7 minutes apart. I got out of the bath and put the enchiladas that I had made with my sister in the oven so we could eat dinner when Andy got home. I was sure my contractions were just going to go away. As we were eating dinner they kept getting more intense and painful. We started timing them and they were about 3-5 minutes apart and 30-45 seconds long. After we finished eating I found myself curled up in a ball on the floor because they were getting SO intense and painful. I decided I better get in the shower so I could have clean hair in case today was the day! Haha! It took me forever to shower because every couple minutes I was on my knees in so much pain. Once I was done showering i was going to try and labor at home as much as possible. But about 15 minutes later I was in so much pain and for sure thought we needed to get to the hospital quickly.

We arrived at the hospital that night around 7:30 pm. The nurse checked me and I was still only at a 1 and 80%. I was sooo bummed, and in so much pain. I needed that epideral now!! They had us walk around for 45 minutes and checked me again and I still had not progressed even though my contractions were so intense and about 1 minute apart. They gave me morphine so I would be able to go home and get some rest. The morphine did absolutely nothing except make me fall asleep for the 1 minute between contractions, then I would wake right back up and have terrible pain. They had to monitor me on the morphine for a couple hours before they could send me home.

At about 10:30-11:00 they sent us home and as soon as I got home I told Andy to make me pancakes in case we go back and I’m in actual labor and can’t eat. Haha! My contractions just kept getting worse and worse so at 11:45 we went back to the hospital. When they checked me I was at a 2 and 100% thinned. Luckily my doctor was the on call doc that night so they were able to admit me!

I was admitted at 12:00 pm on November 16. Hallelujah! Once I got situated in my room the anesthesiologist came in and gave me my epidural. Once that got going my doctor came in and broke my water. My contractions were still consistent but I was progressing very slow! Around 4am on November 16, I was only at a 4. My nurse started me on pitocin hoping to speed things up. It didn’t do much and I kept on progressing about a 1/2 cm every hour.

At 1:00 pm I was about 8 cm, so I texted my friend who was going to take pictures of the delivery and told her to be ready! She got there about 3, and i was at a 10! I started pushing with my nurse for about an hour. She could then see demetrios’ head really well so she called the doctor. I then pushed with my doctor for another HOUR! I was so done pushing and wanted this baby out!! So I gave everything I had and his head finally came out, then one more push and our beautiful baby boy Demetrios Kostandinos Bolos was born on November 16, 2016 at 5:18 pm. Demetrios came into this world making his cute little grunting noises that he likes to make. He weighed 7lbs and 19 1/2 inches long. There was blood everywhere and later I found out my placenta was shredded so it was a good thing I had him when I did or I could have had serious complications. I will never forget the way I felt giving birth I wish I could do it over and over again. It was the most amazing and spiritual experience. I loved watching Andy become a dad and fell so much more in love with him.

xoxo,

Kaydi

 

Multiple kids

I’ve gotten asked quite a bit how I decided I was ready for another baby after having PPD/A. There was a lot of different things that happened over the coarse of many months for me to realize that I could do it again.

1: My husband had to be 100% on board. I needed him to be ready to do it again. We were both terrified that we were going to literally have to go through hell again to have another newborn. But we put our heads together and supported each other.

2: I came to terms that I was going to take my medication during & after pregnancy & that is was perfectly okay!

3: I saw my friends having baby’s and not having a bad experience. So it made me realize not all babies come with a hard postpartum period.

4: I HAD to set boundaries with everyone.

I told my family exactly what I expected of them during pregnancy and postpartum. I let them know I didn’t want a million visitors the first few weeks of the babies life. I wanted time to bond with my baby and spend some good quality time. I told them I wanted someone to help entertain demetrios so I could take care of the baby.

5: I prayed A LOT.

My experience with Demetrios and Atticus was a completely opposite experience. I’m so happy it went so well the second time and all I can do is hope and pray the same goes for this next little one.

Before motherhood

 Remembering who your were before motherhood. It’s an interesting thing to think about. Who was I before my beautiful child was born? Does it even matter anymore? Do I want to be that person again? Or do I like who I have/am becoming? 

November 16, 2016 I transformed and I will never be the same. But I will never be the same in a good way! I have learned and grown so much in these past 3 years. I have gone through a lot of heartache but I wouldn’t change a thing. I didn’t embrace motherhood right from the beginning, and most days still struggle. I pictured it to be the most beautiful thing. For me the first few months weren’t beautiful, it was scary, unwanted, and emotional.  I wanted my old life back and tried very hard to get it back. Once I realized I had a new identity of being a mama it was much easier to except what was happening and embrace being a mom and all the changes.  

Having this new identity (being a mama) has so so much more to offer then my old self. While being a mom is the most important job I will ever have, I to am a person as a single being. I have needs and wants that need to be met. It’s important that I take care of myself so I can in return take care of my baby(s) and give them the best life possible. As a mom I have been searching for hobbies I can do outside of  being a mom and wife. When I do those things I notice how much happier I am, and also my family. It’s so easy to feel guilty for doing something for yourself but in my opinion it’s 100% okay. I don’t know where I’m really going with this.. except being a mom is hard, It brings me to tears a lot. Especially with little ones who require my attention all day. So I guess I want to end by saying.. find who YOU are as a person and KEEP GOING. 💪🏼

18 week pregnancy update; baby number 3

18 weeks! Wahoo! Love this stage of pregnancy but also want to look more pregnant and less chubby 😂 I started feeling little flutters this week 👏🏼 my cravings are pretty much the same as my other pregnancies. Sandwiches.. potatoes.. fries… chips.. fruit.. and I just want to bake! Haha!

I’m hopeful i will be running the snow canyon half in 6 weeks. My running hasn’t had to slow down yet and I’ve still been able to train so that’s the goal!

Demetrios told me today he loves his baby so much! He gave me a kiss and said I love you mom, then kissed my tummy and said “I love my baby soo much mom” he’s so sweet but also so sour 🤣🤣 anyway.. more about the baby in my tummy.

Everything looked great at my appointment last week and the HR was 156. I can’t believe we are going to have 3 kids! Seems like just yesterday we were having Demetrios. I’m so excited to see what our little 3rd babe brings to our family.

It’s been stressful with this whole job situation tho. I like to plan and have things done in advance. So the fact that i possibly might be delivering in a different hospital with a different OB stresses me out. It took me awhile to find an OB i loved here so i really don’t want a new one 😬 I also want to start getting the nursery together but with the possibility of moving I’ve got to hold off! Hopefully by next pregnancy update we will know more.

See you in 22 weeks baby! Hopefully sooner 🤣

Beautiful, crazy, life.

Life has a funny way of working. You can never get comfortable because then comes a long a curve ball! The older I get the more I realize EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. Is faced with adversity and trials. Everyone. So when you look at someone and think their life is perfect think again. We may all struggle with something completely different but it doesn’t make anyone’s trials less hard. When you are in the middle of a trial it’s hard to not lose hope and site of the big picture. I often have to remind myself to step back and know this is not my plan it’s God’s plan. I’m a firm believer in “everything happens for a reason”. The hard part is believing that when going through a difficult time.

Recently Andy got laid off from his job. It’s a very frustrating feeling. We felt so strongly to move down here 2 1/2 years ago and everything fell into place perfectly. Now after a month of Andy looking for a new job we are pretty much out of options in the Saint George area. Saint George isn’t a good area for someone in the tech field, so we were very blessed to get here in the first place. We hope and pray we can stay but sometimes God has a different plan. I feel like we are just getting settled. I’ve made some friends (which always takes me forever. Unlike Andy 🤣) I have a group of gals I like running with. I love my OB. And I really love my job. We have really enjoyed being away from family and it’s helped our relationship a ton. I’m not ready to give it up.. BUT. We might just have to. Andy needs a little more experience before he can start working somewhere remote more than likely. So we are starting to look at our out of state options; AZ, WA, CA,CO and possibly a move up to Utah county 🥴😭. We are hopeful we will be able to come back to Saint George one day and still hope and pray in the next few weeks something will come up so we can stay. But until then we are moving forward onto other options. Andy’s severance is up soon and it’s time to figure something out! We got a baby coming in February and I would like to have things figured out by then. 🙃

Thinking of moving makes me sick and so sad. We love it here, it’s our home. I know as long as I have my boys I will be home. Hopefully in a few weeks we will know the direction we need to take.

So, if you’re going through a rough patch know you aren’t alone. We all struggle and no one has a perfect life. So remember to always be kind, and never judge a book by its cover.

So glad i get to do life with this guy 💙

Please Stay

I took this picture when we were in Hawaii and I’ve wanted to post it for awhile, just trying to put the thoughts i had while experiencing this into writing.

Watching that sunrise up above the clouds with thousands of other people was something i didn’t know would impact me so much. I wish we could all have that same hope in our own lives that our sunrise will 100% come. When you are in a dark time, it’s almost impossible to see the end. I remember after demetrios was born I would bundle him up and take him for walks or runs (probably why to this day i still love stroller running so much)i remember passing neighbors houses and seeing everyone going on with their life like nothing had changed, their lives were normal and mine felt like it was falling apart. I felt so alone. No one could notice the hurt that was going on because it wasn’t a scrape or cut, it was on the inside. But I survived and I’m here to tell you it DOES end. Hang on, it might take weeks, months, days or even YEARS. But it will come. Please don’t go, please FIGHT, please STAY

16 week pregnancy update: baby #3

16 weeks! Eek! I can’t believe it! I’m in that stage of pregnancy when you don’t feel pregnant, but you either look like you ate too much or in my case just look chubby! Probably doesn’t help that all I want to eat is sandwiches, and potatoes 😂 I’m showing so much faster this time and I’m dying to feel those baby wiggles! I thought i felt something a couple nights ago but i wasn’t sure 🤷🏼‍♀️

My mental health has been so much better since getting out of the first trimester. I don’t ever feel sick anymore unless i don’t eat for a really long time. I’m still tired and take a nap almost every day 😂 luckily i have a baby that naps and a toddler that likes to lay on the couch next to me and either fall asleep or watch a movie! I’ve already gained 10 lbs, but i have to remind myself I’m not one of those people that doesn’t gain weight in the beginning. I gain the most weight in the beginning and then towards the end I hardly gain weight.

I still have know idea what this baby is! Demetrios tells me it’s a sister 80% of the time. Atticus still doesn’t know what’s coming for him, minus my growing belly. Lately he’s been crawling up to it and touching it or just staring at it😂

Somehow I’m going to have 3 kids with my oldest barely being 3! I’m sooo nervous, but so dang excited! Having my first 2 so close has been so fun. They are going to adore this little baby and be best friends. While we were on a walk this morning Demetrios asked me where the baby was going to sit in the stroller, I said it’s going to sit in your seat! And he said “no mom, I’m going to hold the baby, it doesn’t get my seat thats silly 😂” He said he wants to help mommy with the baby and hold it when it’s a tiny baby. I’m trying to convince Andy to build a seat on the front of my bob stroller so I can push all three of them 😂😂

I’m still averaging 25-35 miles a week running and feeling so grateful I’m still able to run that far. My pace has only slow a little and I can tell soon I’m going to start slowing down! I did 10 miles on Saturday and it felt really good! I was surprised how well my body handled it.

We love you so much baby, and can’t wait to meet you in February!

Kaydi

Finding joy in motherhood

This is something I never imagined wouldn’t come easy for me. I always thought I would love being a mom and want a big family. I always wanted lots of kids growing up, I had lots of nieces and nephews who I adored and couldn’t wait to have kids of my own. I imagined I would want to be a full time SAHM and never want to work. Right!? WRONG! All i thought I wanted as a young girl is not what i want now that I’m a mother. And thats OKAY 💙

Once demetrios was born and having that rough start with him, I realized motherhood is much, much harder and SO SO different for everyone. So over the next several weeks I want to take a different topic that I struggle with & others struggle with and TALK about it. Let’s help each other 👏🏼

I can honestly say 3 years later I still struggle almost daily trying to find joy in this stage of life. Yeah I don’t really have depression or much anxiety anymore (thank goodness) BUT I still struggle. I used to feel SO guilty saying that, but then I realized a lot of other moms have this struggle too! It’s not that I don’t love my kids or want to be with them, it’s just hard dealing with tantrums, crying babies, messy diapers, whining, and the physical and mental demand it takes to raise tiny humans. It’s hard to find balance in finding time for myself and taking care of my family. Here are some things I’ve found most helpful when I’m struggling to find joy.

1: Write things down! Every day I write down something (big or small) that brought me joy that day

2: Take time for yourself. Some people need more than others and that’s OKAY.

3: It’s okay to have your own view on how motherhood should be. It’s different for everyone. There is no right perfect way to be a mom. A great mom is a happy mom! If you need 2 hours away from your kids every day then do it! If you need to work then do it, if you need to eat chick fil a daily do it, if you need to meditate do it. I think you get it. But really whatever it is that helps you be a better mom then DO IT. Easier said than done right!? 😂

4: Do something YOU love daily. For me that’s running! Find your thing and do it!

5: Find friends that understand + gives you someone to talk to other than tiny humans.

6: And lastly communicate with you husband, SO, or whoever you need to help you with your kids. If they know your needs it makes it a little easier to do what you need to do to be a good mama.

I obviously don’t know everything about being a mom as I’m only 3 years in, and I never will know everything, but these are the things that help me 🥰

Enjoy

Kaydi

And some random pictures of me doing something that brings me JOY! Photography 💙

14 week pregnancy update: baby 3

Can’t believe I’m in the second trimester!! 14 weeks and so excited. I was sick for a few weeks but now I’m feeling a little more like my normal self minus the extra weight I’ve already gained 🥴 I feel like I am showing early like I did with demetrios (Andy says I don’t look like I have a bump, but’s he’s supposed to say that right!?) and I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I have an anterior placenta again! Darn, means I won’t feel baby kicks for awhile.

My emotions have been all over the place. Always crying for no reason 😂 My acne is out of control!! I had this problem with demetrios’ pregnancy as well! I’m sleeping better and can usually make it through the night without having to pee! I’ve had some days where I feel depressed and sad for no reason, but they are far and few between ( thank goodness!) The first trimester by far is always the hardest for me, it makes me question why I wanted to be pregnant in the first place! It’s a huge mental and emotional struggle (my poor husband 🤣)

Now that I’m feeling better I’m back to my regular running schedule and that helps with my mood A LOT! This baby is so very loved by everyone and we are so excited!

Kaydi

Running During Pregnancy

**** Disclaimer**** I am not an expert or professional by any means when it comes to exercise during pregnancy and postpartum. But I do a lot of research before (especially when i am pregnant) do anything and I love to share that knowledge with others. Be sure to consult your doctor and do what’s best for YOUR body.

My first pregnancy seemed like a disaster. I was completely naive going into it. I was not prepared for what my body was about to go through. A little back story, I have been a pretty avid long distance runner since I graduated high school in 2011, I had done multiple half marathons, a couple 10ks and a handful of 5ks so going into my pregnancy I just thought running would be a breeze since my body had already been doing it so long. But boy was I wrong. My whole first trimester I think I ran a total of 2-3 times I was sick and did not want to move. This was my first big mistake, this made it so I was completely out of shape when I started finally feeling better around 16 weeks. I hopped on the treadmill and was immediately crampy and uncomfortable. I think I made it 1 mile and was so discouraged.

Now, fast forward to this pregnancy I knew before I got pregnant if I didn’t find a way to keep running or stay active I was going to end up back in that dark depressing hole. I had 12 months of postpartum running and pelvic floor strengthening behind me and I knew I was ready to take this pregnancy running journey on.

First things first during the first trimester it is crucial to keep running or moving. If you don’t care about running during your pregnancy at least stay MOVING. I walked and ran almost 5-6 times a week through my whole first trimester. Most of the time getting out and running made me feel less nauseous and gave me energy.

2nd most important thing I have done this time around is pelvic floor exercises. I did my regular ab exercises up until about 18 weeks (this can vary for everyone). I will list some of my favorite pelvic floor exercises you can do throughout your pregnancy and postpartum recovery below, a long with a video.

Squats (with or without band)

Side leg raises (with or without band)

Glute Bridges (with or without band)

Glute bridge marching (with or without band)

Clam shells (with or without band)

Side plank hold

Single leg lifts

Bird Dog

10-15 reps 3x through

With these exercises make sure you engage deep in your core. Go as slowly as you need and don’t forget to breath.

3rd get a support band of some sort. Some people love KT tape, Baobei maternity band, for me I have loved my Gabriella support band.

4th don’t forget to stretch, hydrate like crazy, ( I love Totelytes) and recover with nutritious foods!

**** remember every pregnant body is different, listen to your body and you know what’s best! Also, don’t get discouraged if your pace slows down or you have to take walk breaks. Enjoy the journey it goes fast!

24 week pregnancy update

24 weeks and i can’t believe it! My biggest symptom right now is hunger, i run 4-6 miles a day so i think that is adding to my extra hungry-ness 😂. My body still feels great and i don’t have any pregnancy aches or pains yet. The baby has been quite the mover this week and loves to roll around in there. Some nights it even wakes me up because of how active it is. It has been fun this time around not having an anterior placenta, i can feel so much more! My current craving are still sandwiches and lately it’s been Greek food and Chinese food. I normally hate Chinese food when I’m not pregnant but for some reason when i am pregnant i crave it 😆