Demetrios’ Birth Story

On Monday November 14, 2016 I had a doctors appointment and was dilated to a 1 and 80% effaced. My doctor told me he could strip my membranes to see if that would get the ball rolling. I agreed, because at this point I felt desperate to get demetrios out! That night I was having a little cramping so Andy and I decided to go for a walk, hoping it would turn into full blown contractions. I had consistent cramping for a few hours that night but nothing that got more painful.

The next day I went up to my sisters house to go for a walk with her. We went 1 mile and then decided to keep going. We ended up going 4 miles!! Haha! By the time I got back I was having some more intense cramping. I was helping her make dinner and decided I better head home and just relax.

I got home and decided to get in the bath to see if it would help the pain I was having. Andy called me while I was in the bath and said he felt like he needed to come home and was on his way! I told him it was probably a good idea because I was having contractions that were about 5-7 minutes apart. I got out of the bath and put the enchiladas that I had made with my sister in the oven so we could eat dinner when Andy got home. I was sure my contractions were just going to go away. As we were eating dinner they kept getting more intense and painful. We started timing them and they were about 3-5 minutes apart and 30-45 seconds long. After we finished eating I found myself curled up in a ball on the floor because they were getting SO intense and painful. I decided I better get in the shower so I could have clean hair in case today was the day! Haha! It took me forever to shower because every couple minutes I was on my knees in so much pain. Once I was done showering i was going to try and labor at home as much as possible. But about 15 minutes later I was in so much pain and for sure thought we needed to get to the hospital quickly.

We arrived at the hospital that night around 7:30 pm. The nurse checked me and I was still only at a 1 and 80%. I was sooo bummed, and in so much pain. I needed that epideral now!! They had us walk around for 45 minutes and checked me again and I still had not progressed even though my contractions were so intense and about 1 minute apart. They gave me morphine so I would be able to go home and get some rest. The morphine did absolutely nothing except make me fall asleep for the 1 minute between contractions, then I would wake right back up and have terrible pain. They had to monitor me on the morphine for a couple hours before they could send me home.

At about 10:30-11:00 they sent us home and as soon as I got home I told Andy to make me pancakes in case we go back and I’m in actual labor and can’t eat. Haha! My contractions just kept getting worse and worse so at 11:45 we went back to the hospital. When they checked me I was at a 2 and 100% thinned. Luckily my doctor was the on call doc that night so they were able to admit me!

I was admitted at 12:00 pm on November 16. Hallelujah! Once I got situated in my room the anesthesiologist came in and gave me my epidural. Once that got going my doctor came in and broke my water. My contractions were still consistent but I was progressing very slow! Around 4am on November 16, I was only at a 4. My nurse started me on pitocin hoping to speed things up. It didn’t do much and I kept on progressing about a 1/2 cm every hour.

At 1:00 pm I was about 8 cm, so I texted my friend who was going to take pictures of the delivery and told her to be ready! She got there about 3, and i was at a 10! I started pushing with my nurse for about an hour. She could then see demetrios’ head really well so she called the doctor. I then pushed with my doctor for another HOUR! I was so done pushing and wanted this baby out!! So I gave everything I had and his head finally came out, then one more push and our beautiful baby boy Demetrios Kostandinos Bolos was born on November 16, 2016 at 5:18 pm. Demetrios came into this world making his cute little grunting noises that he likes to make. He weighed 7lbs and 19 1/2 inches long. There was blood everywhere and later I found out my placenta was shredded so it was a good thing I had him when I did or I could have had serious complications. I will never forget the way I felt giving birth I wish I could do it over and over again. It was the most amazing and spiritual experience. I loved watching Andy become a dad and fell so much more in love with him.

xoxo,

Kaydi

 

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Running During Pregnancy

**** Disclaimer**** I am not an expert or professional by any means when it comes to exercise during pregnancy and postpartum. But I do a lot of research before (especially when i am pregnant) do anything and I love to share that knowledge with others. Be sure to consult your doctor and do what’s best for YOUR body.

My first pregnancy seemed like a disaster. I was completely naive going into it. I was not prepared for what my body was about to go through. A little back story, I have been a pretty avid long distance runner since I graduated high school in 2011, I had done multiple half marathons, a couple 10ks and a handful of 5ks so going into my pregnancy I just thought running would be a breeze since my body had already been doing it so long. But boy was I wrong. My whole first trimester I think I ran a total of 2-3 times I was sick and did not want to move. This was my first big mistake, this made it so I was completely out of shape when I started finally feeling better around 16 weeks. I hopped on the treadmill and was immediately crampy and uncomfortable. I think I made it 1 mile and was so discouraged.

Now, fast forward to this pregnancy I knew before I got pregnant if I didn’t find a way to keep running or stay active I was going to end up back in that dark depressing hole. I had 12 months of postpartum running and pelvic floor strengthening behind me and I knew I was ready to take this pregnancy running journey on.

First things first during the first trimester it is crucial to keep running or moving. If you don’t care about running during your pregnancy at least stay MOVING. I walked and ran almost 5-6 times a week through my whole first trimester. Most of the time getting out and running made me feel less nauseous and gave me energy.

2nd most important thing I have done this time around is pelvic floor exercises. I did my regular ab exercises up until about 18 weeks (this can vary for everyone). I will list some of my favorite pelvic floor exercises you can do throughout your pregnancy and postpartum recovery below, a long with a video.

Squats (with or without band)

Side leg raises (with or without band)

Glute Bridges (with or without band)

Glute bridge marching (with or without band)

Clam shells (with or without band)

Side plank hold

Single leg lifts

Bird Dog

10-15 reps 3x through

With these exercises make sure you engage deep in your core. Go as slowly as you need and don’t forget to breath.

3rd get a support band of some sort. Some people love KT tape, Baobei maternity band, for me I have loved my Gabriella support band.

4th don’t forget to stretch, hydrate like crazy, ( I love Totelytes) and recover with nutritious foods!

**** remember every pregnant body is different, listen to your body and you know what’s best! Also, don’t get discouraged if your pace slows down or you have to take walk breaks. Enjoy the journey it goes fast!

24 week pregnancy update

24 weeks and i can’t believe it! My biggest symptom right now is hunger, i run 4-6 miles a day so i think that is adding to my extra hungry-ness 😂. My body still feels great and i don’t have any pregnancy aches or pains yet. The baby has been quite the mover this week and loves to roll around in there. Some nights it even wakes me up because of how active it is. It has been fun this time around not having an anterior placenta, i can feel so much more! My current craving are still sandwiches and lately it’s been Greek food and Chinese food. I normally hate Chinese food when I’m not pregnant but for some reason when i am pregnant i crave it 😆

22 week pregnancy update

I can’t tell if this pregnancy is zooming by or going slow?! Some weeks seem to cruise on by why others seem to drag. I’ve got a nice baby bump and actually feel like i look pregnant and not just chubby. Demetrios loves my belly and always wants to give it kisses. Sandwiches and salads are my current favorite along with candy. I’ve gained 9lbs and my belly button is starting to become flat. 😂 I feel like i could sleep 12hours every night and I’d still be tired but luckily running is helping me keep my energy up.

22 weeks with Demetrios 22 weeks with this babe!

16 week pregnancy update

16 weeks and feel like this pregnancy is flying by. Some days i forget I’m pregnant i am waiting patiently for this little baby bump to appear. My appetite has been out of this world and i feel like I’m constantly eating, drinking, or peeing 😆. Sandwiches and fruit have been my biggest cravings right now.

Week 12 pregnancy update

I can’t believe the first trimester is coming to an end. My sickness is completely gone, but i think the tiredness is here to stay awhile longer. My appetite and cravings have been so out of control, it’s amazing what pregnancy can do to a women! I want meat sandwiches or tuna pretty much everyday. The rest of my cravings are completely random and change day to day.

My body still feels pretty much the same minus the terrible bloating and a couple extra pounds. I have been feeling no motivation to do any sort of exercise whatsoever but finally today i feel like I’m ready to get back into a workout routine. I’m excited to have a baby bump and not just bloat. The weird dreams are in full swing and i get sick of them!

Week 4 pregnancy update 

Yay!!! I️ just found out last night I’m pregnant with baby number 2! I am so excited and was happy to get pregnant so fast. I new I️ was pregnant before I tested because I was feeling so tired and nauseous already. I’m hoping my nausea doesn’t get worse. But it probably will! This pregnancy i want to enjoy every moment and stage, even the hard parts. It truly is a miracle carrying and growing a perfect

True Deep Down Happiness

I have been off my Zoloft for 1 whole week. It has been about a month since I started weaning off of it. This month has been one of the best and challenging months all at the same time. As I began weaning off my Zoloft i realized that it supressed a lot of my emotions. Yes i have felt happiness, sadness, anger, anxiety, excitement, depression, and many other emotions but in a very small form. As I began weaning I began having BIG emotions. At first I was bummed because I thought this meant depression was lingering around the corner. Although it was nice to feel an overwhelming amount of happiness it also meant I went through a few days of feeling irritable and sad. But I stuck with weaning, eating healthy, and taking my natural supplement and boy am I glad I did. It feels so good to have true belly laughing, can’t stop smiling happiness! The joy and happiness demetrios has brought to our lives is overwhelming and finally I get to feel 100% of it.

 While I was on Zoloft the only thing I realized was how much it helped my depressed and anxious feelings go away and it also made it so I didn’t cry. if you know me you know I am a big crier. I cry when i’m happy, sad, mad, overwhelmed and every other emotion. It is how I have been my whole life and it’s just part of me. Not being able to cry was sometimes frustrating but for the most part it was not a big deal. What I didn’t realize is that Zoloft suppressed many other emotions. It wasn’t until I started weaning that I realized I have never felt so happy. I was talking to Andy last night and I told him that I haven’t felt this happy since he was born. I honestly didn’t think I could experience more happiness than I already was experiencing? It really took me by surprise. 

Since going through PPD/A I have become a lot more in tune with my emotions. If I feel a certain way I like to know whats causing it and then I do something that makes me happy to fix it. We are getting close to demetrios’ first birthday, and I’m happy to say I’m zoloft free. It has been a very challenging year, especially the beginning, but we did it! I survived PDD. I do know that when another baby comes a long my chances of developing prenatal or PPD are high and if I need to I will go back on zoloft but for now I’m going to soak in these new emotions I’m feeling. I hope my story has helped someone along the way. Its been hard at times being so vulnerable but I don’t want anyone to suffer in silence. Im always open to talk, I know how important it is to have friends to talk to when going through such a hard time.

xoxo

Kaydi

Hikes

I’ve had a few people ask me about hikes to do in St George/Southern Utah, so I thought I would write a post talking about some of my favorite hikes.

All of these hikes you can do while carrying a baby or toddler on your back or in some type of carrier.
Red cliffs hike click Here to find directions. This hike is one of my favorites!! It’s not hard and a very, very pretty hike. Round trip it is a total of 2 miles. Cost: $6


Snow canyon state park click Here for directions. There are so many hikes to do in snow canyon! it’s always fun to buy a pass and go do a few different hikes. Some of my favorite are; overlook, Jenny’s canyon, and lava tubes. Cost: $6




Chuckwalla trail click Here for directions. This hike is fun and not very difficult. Chuckwalla trail is a connecting trail to many other trails so this is one of my favorite places to go if I feel like exploring! There is also some climbing walls along this trail. Cost: free


Babylon Arch hike click Here for directions. This hike is moderately hard and when I did it the trail wasn’t marked very well. But it is SO beautiful! 1.5 miles RT If you start from primitive camping area. Cost:free 


Kanarraville Falls click Here for directions. This hike is about 35 min from St George towards Cedar City. This hike is moderately difficult and I don’t recommend doing it in the fall, winter, or early spring. The water will be freezing. It is so beautiful and RT is 4.8 miles. Cost: free unless you pay to park. 


These are some of my favorites and maybe down the road I will post some more 😊

Xoxo

 Kaydi 

Postpartum Depression; from my husbands eyes

Kaydi has been asking me to write this post for awhile now, but I keep putting it off because I don’t like thinking about it. I can only imagine what Kaydi went through during those months leading up to dK and after he was born. I felt selfish for having thoughts of “why is that happening to me?” when she was the one going through a really dark time. I was supposed to be a beacon of hope and light for her and instead sometimes I would just want to tell her to knock it off and it would be ok. I remember when she started having trouble with her new job working at the hospital. She would toss and turn all night being so anxious to go to work the next morning. She would come home and just cry about how she couldn’t do it anymore. I would think to myself “you just went through all of this school… why are you wanting to quit already?” I couldn’t understand why, I didn’t know what I could do. Then when she decided to quit a few months before dK arrived and just a few short months after starting, I thought for sure she would never work again. My new worries came as I knew she was sitting at home all day. I thought it would cause even worse depression and anxiety and make her want to nap and sleep away the day. I told her she needed some hobbies or something to do because I didn’t want her to just sit around all day while I was going to work. Things got better after she stopped working and she kept busy getting dK’s room all put together. Fast forward to the night dK was born… WOW what a life changing moment! One moment its just the two of us and next thing I know we are a family of three and I all of sudden have this little baby to care for. I had no idea what to do. It was one of the happiest and scariest moments in my life. Kaydi doesn’t like it when i say this but little man came out with the biggest head and I thought for sure he was an alien. Those next two days in the hospital I was pretty naive. I had no idea what was about to happen. When we got home everything seemed ok for a few hours and then it was like a dark cloud came into our house and it was awful. Kaydi wouldn’t talk to me, she would go silent, and I was scared to do anything. My mom and sister would want to come and visit but I had to tell them no. Kaydi had not wanted anyone to come over and it was really, really hard on me. I wanted to share the little bundle of joy with my family and I felt as though Kaydi did not want me too or me to be happy. It was really fast that Kaydi noticed she had PPD and she was able to get on the ‘Happy Pill” as I call it early, except it took like 6 weeks to kick in. Luckily, Kaydi was ok with having her mom come over and so she stayed with us a lot those first few weeks and I started calling her granny nanny. It was a huge blessing having her there. As the days went on I would want my family to be more involved and Kaydi did not like that, it caused her anxiety. I struggled so bad with this. Here I am, a very social person and super close with my family and I wanted to share that with them and my wife would not let me. It was so hard. I didn’t really know why she felt that way or what I was going to do. She decided to go start seeing a counselor and after the first visit she was finally able to open up and shine some light on the scary situation. For the first time i was starting to see some light. After a few more visits things were getting better and better. As the little man was getting older and the RSV season was passing we were able to go out more and see more people. We learned through this that I get rejuvenated by being around others and Kaydi is opposite and likes her alone time. Throughout out this whole time I was constantly on my knees praying, asking my Father in Heaven for strength, courage and patience. The whole time I kept having this reecuuring thought, “Forget about yourself and see through her eyes” and as I would do my best to do that I was able to look past the pitch black tunnel and know that there was light coming. That this was not how it was going to be forever. I read D&C 121: 7-8

My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.

This gave me hope and I knew that I would get my wife back. It wouldn’t be easy and I knew it would take time but through it all, it would all work out. I am super grateful for all the friends and family I had to support us through this experience. Having someone talk to for me was huge! Its not good to bottle those feelings and thoughts up. I hope no one else has to go through what we did. If you do, don’t wait to talk to someone or to get help. There is hope, you can do it, you are not alone. I am so grateful to my amazing wife who did not ask for this experience but was able to turn something so awful into something of good. She is such an amazing mother to our little boy, who adores his momma. She is such a beautiful person. I always tell her that her smile can light up anyones day so to always send a smile everywhere she goes. I love you Kaydi Lyn.

Andy

 

 

Going through PPD/anxiety was SO hard, SO HARD. Watching Andy suffer the side effects from my PPD/anxiety was even harder. I could tell he didn’t know who i was anymore.  He walked around like he was walking on eggshells afraid he would upset me or make me cry. He was sick of sitting at home but was so worried about me so he wouldn’t leave my side. I would cry to Andy but not make any sense. He had no idea how to help me and for a couple weeks I couldn’t really explain to him how he COULD help. As andy mentioned above he prayed for patience, I can honestly tell you not one time in our marriage have i felt Andy not be patient with me. He is the most PATIENT person ever and even during this dark and scary time he was the most patient. Lucky for me I had my mom and sisters who could relate a little to my situation so they were able to help Andy. Once I went to my counselor she told me how to explain what I was going through to Andy. That was such a life savor and I felt like we had a break through in our PPD journey at this point. There were many times when Andy wanted to have his family to come over and I had to tell him no because I was too sad or anxious. After a couple weeks I realized I needed to let family over, it was SO hard. Many times family would come over and I would lock myself in our bedroom and pretend to be asleep, when secretly I would sit there and cry and wish i could be normal again. As hard as going through this was, i’m grateful for who it has made me become. I have made new friends along the way and have a new appreciation for life and a husbands love. Beat the stigma and know you are not alone. Its time to speak up and speak out.

xoxox

Kaydi

Modern Medicine vs Homeopathic Medicine

My main goal of creating this blog was to share my journey through PPD/Anxiety. Although my PPD/anxiety has been under control for the past 9 1/2 months (ish) its a journey which i think i will battle a lot through out my lifetime. So I am going to update you as of late.

Working in the medical field I have a strong love for modern medicine, but I also believe not everything little thing needs medicine and we are an overmedicated society. (just my opinion 🙂 ) During pregnancy I had the option to take zoloft to help with anxiety and depression. I chose not to because I was worried of the side effects and how it would effect Demetrios. Well once Demetrios was born it got so bad I felt like I didn’t have another option, enough time to research, and I needed something urgent.  Now that I have had my anxiety and depression under control I wanted to find something more natural to try before next baby comes along.

I had been juggling the idea of going a more natural route since Demetrios was 6 months old, but I didn’t know where to start. Since I was weaning off of medication I didn’t want to take it lightly. I needed a Dr to help me, but I also wanted a Dr who would help me try something natural and not just tell me to stay on Zoloft. It can be hard these days to find homeopathic Doctors. Lucky for me I was talking to one of my friends and she mentioned a doctor that she went to for anxiety and told me I should go.  I had my first visit with him today and as of today I am starting a natural supplement and a very clean diet to help heal my brain. I will take 3/4 the dose of my Zoloft along with this natural supplement and work my way down until i am completely off Zoloft. I am very excited to try something different and natural.

I will try and post weekly about weaning off Zoloft and my journey through a more natural approach of healing my brain. If anyone has any questions for me or my doctor just comment or message me and i can get back to you. This post isn’t to make light of depression and make you feel like you need to take something natural. It is to inform other people that there are other options if anyone is looking. If anyone would have told me to try something natural in those first few days of Demetrios life I probably would have ripped their head off  haha! I felt like i was drowning and now that I’m above water I feel like this is the best option of my family and I. Remember you are definitely not alone.  1 in 7 women experience PPD, and about 70% of women suffer some form of baby blues. Its time to speak out and end the stigma.

 

xoxo,

Kaydi