I have been off my Zoloft for 1 whole week. It has been about a month since I started weaning off of it. This month has been one of the best and challenging months all at the same time. As I began weaning off my Zoloft i realized that it supressed a lot of my emotions. Yes i have felt happiness, sadness, anger, anxiety, excitement, depression, and many other emotions but in a very small form. As I began weaning I began having BIG emotions. At first I was bummed because I thought this meant depression was lingering around the corner. Although it was nice to feel an overwhelming amount of happiness it also meant I went through a few days of feeling irritable and sad. But I stuck with weaning, eating healthy, and taking my natural supplement and boy am I glad I did. It feels so good to have true belly laughing, can’t stop smiling happiness! The joy and happiness demetrios has brought to our lives is overwhelming and finally I get to feel 100% of it.
While I was on Zoloft the only thing I realized was how much it helped my depressed and anxious feelings go away and it also made it so I didn’t cry. if you know me you know I am a big crier. I cry when i’m happy, sad, mad, overwhelmed and every other emotion. It is how I have been my whole life and it’s just part of me. Not being able to cry was sometimes frustrating but for the most part it was not a big deal. What I didn’t realize is that Zoloft suppressed many other emotions. It wasn’t until I started weaning that I realized I have never felt so happy. I was talking to Andy last night and I told him that I haven’t felt this happy since he was born. I honestly didn’t think I could experience more happiness than I already was experiencing? It really took me by surprise.
Since going through PPD/A I have become a lot more in tune with my emotions. If I feel a certain way I like to know whats causing it and then I do something that makes me happy to fix it. We are getting close to demetrios’ first birthday, and I’m happy to say I’m zoloft free. It has been a very challenging year, especially the beginning, but we did it! I survived PDD. I do know that when another baby comes a long my chances of developing prenatal or PPD are high and if I need to I will go back on zoloft but for now I’m going to soak in these new emotions I’m feeling. I hope my story has helped someone along the way. Its been hard at times being so vulnerable but I don’t want anyone to suffer in silence. Im always open to talk, I know how important it is to have friends to talk to when going through such a hard time.
xoxo
Kaydi
Simply SISU 